The idea that our emotions can become addictive is a notion not widely explored in traditional psychology, which primarily focuses on analyzing emotions. During my time practicing psychotherapy, I noticed a trend: many clients repeatedly experienced certain emotions, often unconsciously orchestrating scenarios that evoked these feelings, despite expressing a desire for change. Understanding the biochemical nature of human emotions is key. Emotions originate from thoughts, many of which are habitual and repeated day after day. Often, we don't distinguish these thoughts from reality, and we imbue them with meaning, believing them to be true. This process of assigning meaning to thoughts is what generates our emotions. When we experience an emotion, it triggers a cellular change in the body – neurotransmitters are released, altering our physiology and activating neural pathways in the brain.

For those on their journey for understanding and healing from the relational trauma they have experienced in their lives, there is often a list of common experiences that all can relate to and help alleviate that deep feeling of being completely alone and misunderstood in your thoughts and experiences. The challenges, fears, and ongoing struggles faced by many of us who have endured painful relationships and emotional turmoil, particularly from those who were meant to care for and protect us, are profound. These experiences, often marked by betrayal and hurt from trusted individuals, leave lasting impacts that we grapple with and work through in our adult lives.

Relational trauma has a direct and significant impact on both our psychological and physical health. The experiences of emotional harm in relationships are not just stored in our memories, but also in our bodies. This form of trauma affects the nervous system in a way that alters our emotional responses, physical health, and behaviors. Symptoms like heightened anxiety, physical tension, and altered stress responses are common. These physical manifestations are often overlooked but are crucial indicators of the deep-seated effects of past traumatic experiences. Understanding this connection is essential for recognizing the signs of relational trauma and taking steps towards healing and recovery.

Our attachment style profoundly influences how we interact in our romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional interactions. Those with secure attachment usually navigate these relationships with more ease and resilience. However, individuals with insecure attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized) often face challenges. For example, anxious individuals might cling too tightly, while avoidant individuals might distance themselves, and those with disorganized attachment might struggle with trust and consistent behavior.

You’ve fought so hard to save this relationship, but now you’re faced with the truth that you’ll have to fight for yourself to heal, move forward and rebuild your life. You still find yourself wondering how things got so bad and how you ended up in this place. The person you used to turn to for comfort, guidance and support now feels more like an enemy who you are up against, leaving you all alone in this extensive process. It’s hard to imagine a way forward. Inside, you are struggling with a mix of emotions – a consuming sense of overwhelm, constant waves of disappointment, relentless anxiety, and feeling hopelessness about the future.

As we step into the New Year, it's a time of reflection and renewal—a chance to recognize old patterns that no longer serve us and cultivate a different way of interacting with ourselves and others. Especially for adults working to heal from relational trauma and break repetitive relationship cycles, this time of year can offer the opportunity to start fresh and build healthier patterns for yourself.

One of the more beneficial advantages of EMDR intensives is the uninterrupted time dedicated solely to your therapeutic momentum. Unlike weekly sessions, which may be limited by life's events or other commitments waiting for you after sessions, intensives allow for a concentrated period where the primary focus is on you and your healing. This extended time can facilitate a more in-depth exploration of traumatic memories, providing an environment which is ripe for resolution and understanding.

One of the more beneficial advantages of EMDR intensives is the uninterrupted time dedicated solely to your therapeutic momentum. Unlike weekly sessions, which may be limited by life's events or other commitments waiting for you after sessions, intensives allow for a concentrated period where the primary focus is on you and your healing. This extended time can facilitate a more in-depth exploration of traumatic memories, providing an environment which is ripe for resolution and understanding.

The premise behind EMDR is that when we go through a traumatic event, the memory, along with all of its associated feelings, emotions, and sensory details, can get stuck in our brain. And then present-day triggers can make us feel like we're reliving that trauma. Essentially, the past stays present. While the left side of our brain, the logical part, recognizes that our current reaction may be an overreaction, it's often overpowered by the intense emotions that the right side conjures up. Post-trauma, the harmony between these brain halves can be disrupted. EMDR aims to restore this balance, helping individuals process these distressing memories in a more healthy way.

Complex trauma isn't about a single, isolatable event. It's a result of enduring multiple, prolonged, and repeated traumatic events, often during critical developmental periods like childhood. The experiences that contribute to complex trauma might include prolonged emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, ongoing neglect, or chronic exposure to conflict and violence. The distinguishing factor with complex trauma is its repetitive nature, most frequently inflicted by individuals who are supposed to be "safe" figures in a person's life. This could be caregivers, family members, partners, or close friends.