As we step into the New Year, it's a time of reflection and renewal—a chance to recognize old patterns that no longer serve us and cultivate a different way of interacting with ourselves and others. Especially for adults working to heal from relational trauma and break repetitive relationship cycles, this time of year can offer the opportunity to start fresh and build healthier patterns for yourself.

Recognizing and Breaking Old Patterns

The holiday season often brings a unique lens through which we view our family dynamics and long-standing patterns. After spending time with family, you might find yourself noticing certain behaviors and traditions that have been passed down through generations. It's in these moments of reflection that you realize how deeply ingrained these practices are in your family's way of life. You begin to see these patterns starting to come through your own experiences and choices. Yet, amidst this familiar backdrop, you might also recognize that you're the one who feels ready to make a change. While your family may continue to embrace these long-held patterns, you find yourself ready to step out of this cycle, seeking to create a path that aligns more closely with your own values and aspirations. This realization can be both daunting and liberating, as it sets you apart in your journey of growth and self-discovery, challenging you to begin on a new way forward that honors both your heritage and your individuality.

The New Year offers a symbolic opportunity to step back, recognize these patterns, and consciously decide to change them. The first step is awareness. Recognizing these patterns requires introspection. Be honest with yourself and reflect on these questions:

1. What ways have my relationships mirrored the patterns I observed in my family's interactions?

1. How have my reactions to others reflected my own unresolved issues or insecurities?

2. Can I identify times when my need for approval or acceptance from others led me to compromise my own values or well-being?

3. What are the emotional triggers in my relationships that I need to be aware of and manage more effectively?

Now, shift the focus to the relationship with yourself:

1. How do I typically speak to myself when I make a mistake or face a challenge? Is this self-talk constructive or destructive?

2. What are my beliefs about myself, and how do these beliefs influence my interactions with others?

3. In moments of being alone, what brings me genuine joy and fulfillment, independent of others' opinions or expectations?

4. How do my relationships enhance or diminish my sense of self-worth, and what does this reveal about my self-perception?

5. Who am I when i’m not trying to please other people?

Reflecting on these questions can reveal the intricate ways in which your relationships and self-relationship are intertwined. Understanding these dynamics is crucial in breaking old patterns and fostering healthier connections, both with others and within yourself.

To integrate this word into your daily life, consider:

• Visual Reminders: Place the word where you can see it regularly  as the wallpaper on your phone or on a post-it note on your mirror, your desk or the dashboard of your car.

• Reflection: Regularly reflect on how your daily actions align with your word. Are your choices leading you closer to or further from this intention?

• Journaling: Keep a journal where you document your journey, noting successes, challenges, and insights related to your word of intention.

Moving Forward into the New Year

As you move forward into the New Year, remember that change is a journey, not the destination. There will be setbacks and challenges, but each step, no matter how small, is a part of your journey towards a healthier, more fulfilling life. Embrace your word of intention, let it guide your choices, and watch as the old cycles begin to break, making way for new, enriching experiences and relationships.

Remember, healing from relational trauma is a journey of rediscovering and reclaiming your sense of self. It's about learning to interact with others in a way that respects and honors your worth. Let this New Year be the start of that beautiful journey.

Let's embark on your healing journey together. Reach out today and take a step toward more empowered future.

Ready to start your healing journey?